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ADULT JOKES
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* A mute man had a date and wanting to ensure that he was prepared, he went to the chemist.  He walked up to the counter, unzipped his flies, slapped his manhood on the counter and placed a ten dollar bill next to it.  The chemist whacked his manhood on the counter and took the note.
Joke From Playboy

* Two nuns were painting a room when one suggested "There is only us two ladies here, let's remove our habits to prevent paint getting on them."
"The second nun replied favourably and they were happily painting in the nude when they heard a knock at the door.  "Who is it?" asked the nuns.
"Blind Man," the voice said.  Fearing no danger of discovery they invited him in.  "Where do you want these blinds?" questioned the man.

* What made Uhura sick?  William Shatner.

* Vidi Vici Veni

* "Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, was swinging through the trees to meet Jane for the first time.
"How do you do?" he prepared his speach, "I am Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, you must be the young lady Jane."
"They call me Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle.  You, young lady, are Jane."
"He spotted Jane and landed in front of her.
"Me Tarzan, you Jane," he said.

* How do you know when your sister has her period?  Your Dad's teeth are red.

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